Fire Vinny Del Negro!
Fellow Bulls fans,
Although I have never met the man, I am fairly confident that Vinny Del Negro is a doting father, a devoted husband
and, more likely than not, a friend to animals. Indeed, he seems like a
genuinely good guy, and has only reinforced this opinion by being a generous
host to visitors to the United Center for the
past 18 months. Vinny, mensch that he is, would not think of selfishly
conserving a timeout just so his team could advance the ball in the final
seconds of a close game; Vinny would rather encourage his player to
consistently launch contested 18 footers than inadvertently offend the illiterate
among us by drawing-up coherent plays on his mini dry-erase board; and Vinny is
so concerned about those Chicagoans hit hardest by the economic downturn that
he has worked tirelessly to ensure the Bulls' maintenance of a losing record,
knowing full well that a losing team means lower ticket prices for the average
fan.
Vinny also respects his elders. As the new kid on the
block in Chicago, Vinny has sagely learned
from Chicago's other great sideline strategists, adopting a coaching style that
seamlessly incorporates the glazed ineptitude of Lovie
Smith and the undisciplined chaos of Lou Piniella.
And since Vinny has clearly perfected this coaching style, and has also given
all that he could possibly give to the city of Chicago and visitors to the United
Center, it would be selfish of us to continue to keep him all to
ourselves. Vinny is too decent and humble a man to ever admit it, but his
work is done here. It is our duty as Chicagoans and conscientious human
beings to let this caged bird fly to another city. Please help us, help Chicago Bulls Management make the right decision, by signing this petition.
Respectfully,
A devoted Chicagoan
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