The Rio Olympics 2016 are in full swing and this has got me thinking (dangerous, I know). In the Modern Olympics almost every single sporting shenanigans are included, from Gymnastics Rhythmic to Water Polo, and yet I can’t help but think that the Olympics committee have missed a major trick by not looking to the Ancient Olympics to further expand their event list.

They should include… PANKRATION!

For those unfamiliar with the athletic delight that was Pankration, it was first introduced in 648 BC and could be described as MMA on steroids. The mythological origin of Pankration is that it was a fighting style developed by the heroes Theseus and Heracles to subdue the mighty Minotaur and the naughty Nemean lion with bare clad fisticuffs only.

There are only two rules in a bout of Pankration;

1. The first rule of Pankration is: you do not talk about Pankration.

2. The second rule of Pankration is: you DO NOT talk about Pankration!

Nah, not really. I just wanted to crowbar in a Fight Club reference into this post.

Instead the actual two rules were;

1. No pulling out your opponents eyes.

2. No biting (that’s just rude)

In fact, Pankration was so gosh darn brutal that on one infamous occasion a fighter named Arrhichion of Phigaleia won the pankration competition at the Olympic Games despite being dead. His foe (whose name has been lost in the annuls of history. I really had to check my spelling of that word, a missing N would have painted quite a different picture in your mind) had locked him in a chokehold and Arrhichion, desperate to free himself from the iron grip, snapped his opponent's toe in two. The opponent nearly fainted from pain and surrendered the bout. As Arrhichion's hand was raised in victory, it was noticed that he had popped his clogs (note; sources are conflicting on whether he was wearing inflatable clogs) from the vicious chokehold. That didn’t stop the Ancient Greek’s celebrating his victory though, his corpse was crowned with the olive wreath and he was returned to Phigaleia as a hero.

Now… who wouldn’t want to see Pankration on their Telly box right now? With that being the case, I hereby begin a petition for Pankration to be included in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics!