PATRICK STUMPS LOST CHILD
Hello, my name is Bridget (B) Maher, and in this essay story thing, I am going to explain to you why I believe that I am Patrick Stumps lost child. I have taken weeks coming up with explanations and evidence leading up to my theory, and I hope you believe this as much as I do.
I came up with the theory that I had regenerated off of Patrick Stumps hand after it had been cut off. Sort of like how a lizard regrows its tail when its fallen off. You might think its impossible for human regeneration, but scientists are figuring out how to use lizard technology to figure out the human regeneration theory. They just haven't found me yet. The story to this is.. after Patricks hand had been cut off, as a fetus I crawled my way out of his wrist and fell onto the floor. Nobody noticed me, till a garbage man swept me away. Days later, I was found by my mother, in a garbage can behind Walmart. That is how I got lost, and found by my Mom who raised me with my 'Dad'. Since it is physically impossible for a man to give birth, this was the only other theory to make any sense. Why do I believe this and why should you? Well think of it this way, budding. If you learned in science class about cells dividing, you'd know that they come out the exact same. Heres more reasoning to that.
Like I said, when cells divide they divide into the exact same cell. So if you were to take a piece of bread, and split it in half, it would be the same bread. This next paragraph is explaining how I am nearly the exact same person as Patrick Stump. My hair is a strawberry brown color, I wear glasses, I look great when I'm wearing a hat, and I'm really attracted to the color orange. If you thought I was describing Patrick then you're wrong. I was giving a brief description of a few of my traits. Ive gone into restaurants wearing a hat and I have been mistaken for Patrick. There was a time when I was at Noodles and Company, I was wearing a fedora, my twenty-one pilots shirt, and black pants. The waitress came up with me and my mom's food, and she said to me 'I like your shirt!'. I said thank you and then she asked me 'aren't you the lead in fall out boy' I denied, and said my name was Bridget. Needless to say it would've been quite funny if I hadn't denied, but thats the point. I look quite a bit alike Patrick Stump, and have a similar personality. Going more into personality, if you know me in person or from Instagram and if I had talked to you before, you would know that I am a really fun, controlled, nice, talented person. I like being ambitious and trying a lot of different things. I get obsessed with something for a period of time, and wake up every day thinking 'hey, thats what i'm going to do' and then find something new and completely forget about the last thing I tried. Such a coincidence he said something similar to that in an interview.
My final reason, is all of the supposed coincidences. I mean I've found quite a few of these that I'm starting to believe that they aren't actually coincidences. So I live in Chicago, and it just so happens that I used to live down the street from him according to my mom. Also, it just so happens that Save Rock and Roll came out on my birthday 2 years ago, 2 years ago is when I was born. Hmm... Coincidence? I think not.
So you may not believe my theory, if you don't then maybe reread this paper and tell me again that I'm not his child. But I believe that I am indeed, Patrick Stumps lost child. After doing a lot of research on lizard regeneration and scientific theories, this could most likely be true. Thank you for taking the time to read this, if you believe my theory please tell me :)
@WeArentMKTO on IG — @MyNameIsNotB — on Twitter
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